A poem by Jan

Note:  One fine day Jan was in a reflective mood and recalled a little ditty known as 'The Crooked Man Poem,' so he Googled it and came up with what you see below:

There was a Crooked Man

Nursery Rhyme & History

The content of the "There was a crooked man" poem has a basis in history.  The origin of this poem comes  from the English Stuart history of King Charles I.  The crooked man is reputed to be the Scottish General Sir Alexander Leslie.  The General  signed a covenant securing religious and political freedom for Scotland.  The 'crooked stile' referred to in the poem being the border between England and Scotland.  'They all lived together in a little crooked house' refers to the fact that the English and Scots had at last come to an agreement.  The words reflect the times when there was great animosity between the English and the Scots.  The word crooked is pronounced as 'crookED' the emphasis being placed upon the 'ED' in the word.  This was  common in olde England and many references can be found to  this type of pronunciation in the works of William Shakespeare (1564-1616).

Here is the poem:

There was a crooked man and he walked a crooked mile,
He found a crooked sixpence upon a crooked stile.
He bought a crooked cat, which caught a crooked mouse
And they all lived together in a little crooked house.


Anyway, this little ditty got Jan's creative juices to flowing and he thought he might write something in this vein.  Here it is:
A Crooked Tale

There was a crooked man
Who walked a crooked mile
He had a crooked stick
And he wore a crooked smile.  

Along that crooked mile
There was a crooked town
Where lived a crooked lady
Who wore a crooked gown.  

And so the crooked man
Strolled down the crooked street
And sought the crooked lady
Who walked on crooked feet.  

He found the crooked lady
Astride her crooked mule
And she set her crooked gaze
Upon the crooked fool.  

He rubbed his crooked neck
And searched his crooked mind
To find some crooked words
Of the flattering crooked kind.  

He spoke the crooked words...
They caressed her crooked ears.
She peered with crooked eyes
And saw his crooked leers.  

She kicked the crooked mule
Which kicked the crooked jerk
Who fell upon his crooked arse
And rued his crooked work.  

In fear he ran on crooked legs
Down the crooked bend...
His search for crooked pleasure
Had reached a crooked end.
the end



It appears that Jan isn't the only one whose creative juices have been stimulated by the 'Crooked Man' poem.  Here are links to a couple of others:

The Crooked Man
Crooked House


Poetry by Charlie 

Copyright   1992
Charlotte Sasek

Ms. Ann
Downtown's hummin' ...
big guy's slummin',
circling 'round and 'round the block
lookin' for Ms. Ann the 'walker' ...
cruisin' slow and takin' stock.

Pimps in fashions,
loud and flashin' ...
Caddies long as battleships
pull up to the local corners ...
open doors and out they slip.

Leather minis ...
barely any
cover for those long fine legs.
Bosoms bulgin' over tanktops ...
bums with nothing cop a beg.

Big and small ones ...
short and tall ones
start their nightly stroll for 'bread'.
Big guy ogles from car window
lookin' for Ms. Ann instead.

Out of nowhere
she was right there ...
hot pants red as satan's fire ...
four inch heels on leather boots
that rose up to her heart's desire.

Tall and skinny ...
bosom plenty ...
strainin' hooks that held her blouse.
Ruby lips
and flowin' hair ...
I'd say she is a 'built brick house.'

Waves and ocean ...
Her body sways from side to side.
Big guy pulls up to the curb
and says, 'Ms. Ann, let's take a ride!'

'Money talks,
and BS walks.
Just put the greenbacks in my hand,
and I will show you what it's like
to pleasure on a one-night-stand.'

Big guy mumbles ...
starts to fumble ...
lays the greenbacks in her hand.
'One more thing, my pretty lady.
See this badge?  I am the man.'

Happy, huh?
The age you haven't reached yet,
is showing upon your face,
you really don't look well my dear,
since you moved out of our place.
Your eyes are looking shallow
and the darkness shows too well,
but, I know, it's what you wanted,
you are happy, I can tell ...

I can see you've lost some weight dear,
aren't you eating anymore?
Don't you know you're getting older?
Times are changing from before.
I have seen you looking better,
had me hooked upon your spell,
but I know it's what you wanted,
you are happy, I can tell ...

Say the bills are piling up on you?
But you spend just like a king!
Of course, you always did like
unimportant, material things.
Your drinking has gotten worse,
think it's time you rang the bell,
but, I know, it's what you wanted,
you are happy, I can tell ...

She must make you think you're younger,
but I know you're forty-two
and the change of life is upon you,
better revise the things you do.
Burning the candle at both ends my dear?
Tell you what, I wish you well,
but, I know, it's what you wanted,
you are happy, I can tell .......